My favorite thing about this is that these are parodies of real figures that exist and they’re amazing.  I want a complete set but I haven’t seen them being sold since I was a teenager:

Jesus runs track in sandals.  That can’t help his times.  Nice handoff though.  I like that He does the relays.  It shows He’s a team player.

I’m really sad that Jesus isn’t dancing with them.  I’ve also never heard of a “ballet coach.” 

Jesus here is totally that dad who screams at the Little League umpire, isn’t He? 

Jesus, stop taunting those kids with the ball!  They’re shorter than you!  It’s just mean!

How do you know these were a thing in the 90s?  Rollerblades.

This one’s my favorite.  LOOK AT THAT KID TACKLING JESUS.  HE’S GOING TO HELL.

Caddying for Christ!  But that kid still looks totally bored.  Proof that golf is just never fun, even when Jesus is literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

Watch that eyeline, Jesus. 

I know so many hockey freaks.  I’m gonna have to buy them each one of these.  LOOK AT JESUS GO.

I love how the kids’ belts manage to be gendered here. 

Jesus, you’re gonna get frostbite skiing in BARE FEET.

I hope no one steps on His foot in cleats.  But what are a few more holes, I guess?

We’re all winners in Christ!  But not really, since only one of us gets a trophy.