Today’s first recording starts with the end of The Great British Summer.

There’s a trailer for Jam and Jerusalem.

Then, the next episode of Planet Earth – Jungles. Some of these Birds of Paradise have the most amazing (and slightly silly) mating displays are amazing.

There’s some amazing time-lapse photography of some jungle plants growing. Some of them look like they’re spinning lassos when speeded up.

The Tamarin Monkey, who looks like he definitely belongs to the Campaign for Real Ale and has his own tankard above the bar.

There’s a lot of Tree Frog Sex.

As beautiful as the time lapse fungi growing can be, there’s always the stage that just looks like it needs Sid James doing the narration.

An ant has been infected by Cordyceps.

There are thousands of type of cordyceps, and each affects only one specific species of animal.

The Red Crab Spider lives by a Borneo Pitcher Plant, and feeds off the insects which fall inside the plant and drown. It’s even able to swim to the bottom of the water by keeping a bubble of air on its body as it dives, and uses its silk strands to climb out.

Elephants live in the forests of the Congo. I wonder what they drink there. We find out what they eat, as they search for a “particular type of clay that contains vital minerals scarce in their natural diet. It may be mud, but there’s just nothing quite like it for enriching the blood.” Well played, David Attenborough.

There’s some warfare between two groups of chimpanzee, which ends with some cannibalism. “Killing a competitor makes sense if you want to protect your food supply. But exactly why they cannibalise the dead chimp is not fully understood. It may simply be a chance for some extra protein.”

In the Diaries section, we follow the attempts to film the Birds of Paradise, for which they needed the help of the local Huli people. They were completely cut off from the outside world until the 1950s, but today the Hulis were having a festival. It took place on a beautifully mown lawn that looks for all the world like a county fair, with the men in traditional costume being their version of Morris Dancers, and the kids in Pokémon T-Shirts.

Media Centre Description: David Attenborough’s natural history series. Tropical rainforests cover just three per cent of our planet yet are home to a staggering 50 per cent of the world’s species. They are the richest environments on earth but also the most competitive. Travelling through this enchanted world we uncover the amazing strategies the inhabitants adopt in order to survive. Look out for the flying frog mating orgy and the sinister bodysnatching Cordyceps fungi that eat their victims alive.

BBC Genome: BBC ONE Sunday 19th November 2006 21:00

After this, there’s another Sigur Ros soundtracked trailer for the next episode.There’s a look at what’s on the various BBC channels. Plus another outing for the BBC 4:37 advert.

Then, the recording stops just as the news starts, so I don’t even get the headlines.

The next recording starts with the ending of Hard Rain, a film I think I’ve seen, but I honestly can’t remember anything about it.

There’s a trailer for Titty Bang Bang 2.

Then the next episode of Torchwood – Countrycide. I recall this one being a little unpleasant.

It opens with a very effective scene. A young woman is driving down a country road talking to her dad when the phone signal dies, and she comes across what looks like a body in the road. She gets out cautiously – with a baseball bat. But the body is a fake, a distraction as a figure darts by behind her. She returns to the car, find the key is gone, then she’s attacked by an unseen assailant.

The Torchwood team arrive in the region as this was the most recent of many disappearances in this area. Owen whines, of course, he’s definitely not the outdoor type. And it seems from their banter that Tosh has a bit of a thing for Owen, that he doesn’t seem to reciprocate. Gwen tries to break the ice and asks everyone when their last snog was. When it comes to Ianto he says “Lisa”. Awkward.

Owen annoys Gwen talking about the time he kissed her and they have a very workplace-inappropriate conversation. “When was the last time you came so hard, and so long, you forgot where you are?” Possibly one of the worst lines in the whole show.

But while they’re sparring, they notice a figure in the woods, and when they chase it they find a dead body, but with all the skin and organs removed.

While they’re all distracted by the find, someone gets into their camp and steals the Torchwood van. I’m fairly sure that number plate isn’t DVLC standard.

This episode has an awful lot of gun acting in it. It feels like half the screen time is the team moving from place to place with guns pointed in that two-handed way beloved of US action shows. At some point it starts to look a bit like a parody. Look at this one – Eve Myles is even holding her gun horizontally. They were definitely having fun.

This episode is also definitely increasing the gore quotient. Gwen gets a shotgun blast in her side, from a young man who’s also hiding from whatever is attacking all the people, and Owen has to take out the pellets.

Ianto and Tosh, investigating other houses, both get captured, and as then explore the room they’ve been locked in, they find a fridge full of very human looking meat. “That’s why there was nothing left on the body. They need to eat. We’re food.”

They try kicking at the door to weaken it, but before they make any headway, a woman opens the door. She’s got a shotgun but tells them she’s not going to hurt them. Then she asks “Does anyone else know you’re here? Have you managed to call for help?” which should be a dead giveaway that she’s not to be trusted. Any time anyone asks you, about some information or other, “Have you told anyone else?” you should just assume they’re the bad guy by default until they prove otherwise. She’s definitely part of whatever’s happening here. “I’ve been sent to collect you. I’ve got to take you to them.” “Tell us what’s going on. We can help.” “No-one’s safe. Every ten years… ..it takes us again.” “What takes you? What is it? The Harvest.”

In the pub, Jack interrogates a man who was trying to get in.

Outside, on the road, Owen and Gwen meet a police car with a young PC. I’ve seen Hot Fuzz, I don’t trust him. He talks about a “Village meeting tonight, that’s why I’m here. Constabulary report.”

Ianto and Tosh are brought upstairs by the woman with the gun, where they finally come face to face with the inhuman monster responsible for all of this. It’s Owen Teale as a rural Welshman called Ewan. I remember when he was the charming young man in the American Express advert, now look at him. He has a baseball bat, which I assume he took from the woman in the opening, and tells Tosh she needs tenderising. Ianto and Tosh try rushing him, Ianto is knocked down, but Tosh makes it into the woods.

There’s a lot of cat and mouse, until he finds her and starts strangling her. Luckily, Owen and Gwen catch up with him and Owen tells him “Get off her or I’ll shoot.” Less luckily, they’ve brought the police constable with them, and still think he’s on their side, but Ewan’s his uncle, so he pulls a gun and there’s a stand-off, and Owen and Gwen give up their guns.

They’re taken back to the house, where Ianto is still being held prisoner. There’s other villagers there, all involved in this Pictish production of Sweeney Todd. Ewen is ready to start bleeding them when they hear a noise from outside, getting closer and closer until a tractor comes smashing through the barn door, and Jack arrives, literally all guns blazing. Although he does appear to put most of his bullets in legs and arms, because unlike the rural population, Torchwood do have some rules.

The episode ends with Gwen narrating. “I had a good job before this, I thought in a year or two, perhaps a baby, I know Rhys would be a good dad and I could try for Desk Sergeant and… Well, it was all slotting into place. And then I met you lot. All these things… ..all these things, they’re changing me. Changing how I see the world. And I can’t share them with anyone.” Then Owen emerges from the shadows. “You can now.” Oh dear god. I’d forgotten about this particular plot twist.

Media Centre Description: Science fiction and crime drama series dealing with the machinations and activities of the fictional Torchwood Institute in Cardiff. The team investigate a number of gruesome deaths in the Brecon Beacons, only to confront a terrifying enemy.

Recorded from BBC THREE on Monday 20th November 2006 00:18

BBC Genome: BBC THREE Monday 20th November 2006 00:20

After this, there’s a trailer for Pulling.

Then the start of Torchwood Declassified. During which the recording ends.

But don’t despair, the next recording starts with the end of the episode we’ve just seen, so I haven’t missed Torchwood: Declassified and this episode actually has a title in the Media Centre metadata – The Country Club.

Burn Gorman talks about the team being in the “beautiful environment of the Brecon Beacons” which is a far cry from his character, who hates the countryside. I did love Owen’s lines. “I hate the countryside. It’s dirty, it’s unhygienic. And what is that smell?” Gwen answers “That would be grass.” Pause. “It’s disgusting.”

Director Andy Goddard: “It reminds me of holidays I’d have as a kid, where your dad takes a wrong turn, and I just remember that sense of ‘Oh I’m far away from home now, and I don’t like this’. It’s a universal feeling that everybody has.”

John Barrowman: “The enjoyment that these people have of it, that’s what makes it so sick. Owen Teale, his character when Gwen says to him at the end, Why did you, why did you do this? And he leans over and he says ‘cos it made me happy. Just creepy. Creepy.”

Chris Chibnall on that same scene. “It’s really me grappling with… why would people do that?”

Richard Stokes on how much worse it is that it’s just people who are doing this stuff. He’s not wrong. We can distance ourselves if it’s aliens or monsters, but when it’s people we have to face something in ourselves.

Eve Myles talks about the plot twist where she ends up sleeping with Owen. Russell T Davies says this episode was designed to throw Gwen and Owen together. I remain unconvinced, but that’s just because I’ve always hated Owen right from the start.

Looks like Neill Gorton thinks all his Christmases have come at once because of all the dead bodies and bits of dead body the episode needed.

It’s interesting to hear Julie Gardner, John Barrowman and director Andy Goddard talking about the climactic scene where Jack comes in and shoots all the cannibals. What they shot was a big, loud action sequence, but Russell and Julie wanted something a bit less than that, so they had to cut the scene a bit, removing some dialogue and adding slow motion to some of the shots. Goddard says “It gives it an operatic quality, which is not what we shot so I was worried it wasn’t going to work.”

Here’s the whole episode.

Media Centre Description: Behind-the-scenes look at the sci-fi drama series. Writer and co-producer Chris Chibnall talks about how the storyline of this sinister episode shapes the series, and backstage cameras follow the filming of some of the show’s most complex scenes. Neill Gorton and his design teams reveal the secrets behind the special effects that created the bloodiest episode of the series so far.

Recorded from BBC THREE on Monday 20th November 2006 01:03

BBC Genome: BBC THREE Monday 20th November 2006 01:05

After this, there’s a promo for Colin Murray’s radio show.

Then the recording ends with the start of The Real Hustle.