Ok, so, I’ve been at Uni a while and by a while I mean FAR too long. 7 years too long… I am the definition of the perpetual student — I’ve lived out of a suitcase the entire summer, couch surfing and room “sitting” and just being a general pain in the ass to all of my rather generous and forgiving friends. I have survived purely on the leftover sandwiches that were past their best from my old part time job on campus. I existed on an average of 3–4 hours sleep a night because I could not say no to a good time and I have realised that tips can go a long way if you shop exclusively past 11pm in the golden aisle of the “reduced-to-clear” section at Tesco. The way I survived Uni wasn’t necessarily the healthiest but it was incredibly formative — to who I am now as a person, my values and my appreciation for the forever-full fridge that we have at home-home, and by that I mean my parents’ house where the toilet never smells like vomit and there is a constant supply of toilet paper.
So here are my greatest life hacks from the last 7 years. Whether you find them helpful or not is a matter of personal opinion but these are my not-so-pretty pearls of wisdom. Take from them what you will.
1. Bleach is a beautiful thing
It cleans LITERALLY EVERYTHING. But it’s also a sucker for cleaning the colour out of everything too…so make sure when you do find the inspiration to bleach the vomit from your toilet or try and unblock the shower drain that has been blocked before you ever moved in, that you remove your vintage sweater or lulu lemon leggings. There is nothing worse than the bleachy splash back surprise.
2. Don’t ever put a candle on a wooden surface and forget about it.
The likelihood of it setting fire to your apartment is slim HOWEVER, it will burn quite the mark onto whatever surface you pop it on to (unless it is glass in which case you are Gucci). Ok actually maybe don’t quote me on that…best thing to do is just blow it out.
3. On hangovers…Vitamin C tablets and Lucozade — CANNOT go wrong.
Add ibuprofen, paracetamol and about 2 litres of water to the mix and you’re set. Side-hack; if you are lucky enough to be by the coast, a dip in the north sea also does the trick but I am a bit of a nutter so you may also prefer to take a hot shower and remain in bed…
4. Putting your phone into a glass when you want to amplify the volume and are desperately speaker-less is actually pretty decent.
Obviously a Wonderboom or Boombox would be the dream but needs must and we can’t all be the friend with the fun sound system.
5. Download Fygo!
Fygo helps you save money, make money, eat and drink at some of the best spots on campus and be that canny little social butterfly you’ve always wanted to be at the same time! The only thing it doesn’t do is teach you how to bake brownies but that’s what the internet is for, right?
